Sadness

Sadness/Pain/Dis-ease

What's the meaning of this emptiness?

That uncomfortable void that devours my flesh,

The sadness that haunts me,

The pain, the dis-ease.

I might be poor for all that I want, but,

Am I not perfect as I am, or rich for what I have?

Is there really anything in this world

That can satiate the desire of a greedy and spoiled little child?

Why this unexplainable longing for a better life?

For artificial happiness that doesn’t last,

For that illusory love that lives only in my mind?

Sadness comes and sadness goes,

But I’m not strong enough to let it flow.

I resist the downs and neglect my inner voice.

I escape…

I do whatever it takes to run away,

To force the joy and fake the ups,

While deep inside I weep and cry.

The pain.

 

That horrible, horrible pain.

It brings light to my discomfort

And warns what is to come,

Like grey clouds before a storm

Or the smoke before the fire.

But I refuse to see the signs!

I flinch and sway,

I seek comfort in some pill to try to make it go away.

And so I go,

I drift in bliss until I fall

After ignoring all the warnings,

My body can no more.

That neglected inner child can no longer be ignored.

Dis-ease finally erupts!

It comes stumping and thumping,
like a tsunami of pain,

Destroying all the barriers and illusions.

It comes to wake me up!

It harshly tells me that,

From some things,

I simply cannot walk away.