Trancending

Falling and Rinsing

I am strong and I'm smart.
There is nothing I can't do!
I know I am better, I know I am more,
Why then can I not fathom that which I most adore?

I want to fly above the clouds,
but instead I'm stuck here in the mud.
Underperforming and underachieving,
Why is my life not like the one that I should be conceiving?

Deluded by arrogance I persist with a dream
Without realising of the quandary laying within me.
My blindness drives me, my heart sickened with desire
I don't wake up, I'm heading towards the fire.

It happened so subtly, I barely noticed...
The illusion faded, it's called rock bottom.
And then I cry and I pray and I mourn in regret,
Until I hear something inside me that tell me, "don't fret."

So I sit calmly in silence and focus within
I let go of my reins and let go of my fears.
A voice soothes me and tells me "there's no need to fight"
I just know deep within that it will be alright!

Sadness

Sadness/Pain/Dis-ease

What's the meaning of this emptiness?

That uncomfortable void that devours my flesh,

The sadness that haunts me,

The pain, the dis-ease.

I might be poor for all that I want, but,

Am I not perfect as I am, or rich for what I have?

Is there really anything in this world

That can satiate the desire of a greedy and spoiled little child?

Why this unexplainable longing for a better life?

For artificial happiness that doesn’t last,

For that illusory love that lives only in my mind?

Sadness comes and sadness goes,

But I’m not strong enough to let it flow.

I resist the downs and neglect my inner voice.

I escape…

I do whatever it takes to run away,

To force the joy and fake the ups,

While deep inside I weep and cry.

The pain.

 

That horrible, horrible pain.

It brings light to my discomfort

And warns what is to come,

Like grey clouds before a storm

Or the smoke before the fire.

But I refuse to see the signs!

I flinch and sway,

I seek comfort in some pill to try to make it go away.

And so I go,

I drift in bliss until I fall

After ignoring all the warnings,

My body can no more.

That neglected inner child can no longer be ignored.

Dis-ease finally erupts!

It comes stumping and thumping,
like a tsunami of pain,

Destroying all the barriers and illusions.

It comes to wake me up!

It harshly tells me that,

From some things,

I simply cannot walk away.